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No, You Can't Hold My Baby!

In order to understand the story I'm about to tell you, you need to know a couple of things.

1) Baby J has had some stranger anxiety recently.

2) This stranger anxiety can only really be abated by his exposure to a relatively familiar person for a long time before they hold him or play with him.

3) I believe pretty strongly in not forcing the issue. This last one pertains to most things in my life -- and applies in particular to this situation.

 Here's the scene: Freckles, Baby J, and I were sitting with Freckles' mother this morning, enjoying a leisurely brunch somewhere in Merced. Freckles' mother has many friends, and it's not unlikely at any given point for her to run into someone she knows.

Enter one such person -- we'll call her (for purely my own reasons) Ms. Warming Hut Refugee.

At first, she seemed pretty nice -- she oohed and ahhed over Baby J, she asked how we all were doing, she made pleasantries.

After about one minute of this, she asked if she could hold Baby J. Please consult #'s 1 and 2, above. Add to that the fact that Freckles' mother had minutes prior wanted to do the same thing -- and Baby J staged a huge fit, complete with real tears, which was evidently completely forgotten the second she passed him back to me. (Again -- #1.) Later on, she was successfully able to hold him for a while -- proving #2.

Because of what was going on, I quite politely told Ms. Warming Hut Refugee no, and explained the situation so she would know it wasn't really anything personal.

Undeterred, she proceeded to ask again at least four times in the next five minutes, actually reaching out in what I can only assume was an attempt to lift him out of my arms. I hugged him tighter to me.

#3, in the flesh.

I ask you, my possibly-two-on-a-good-day readers: does no not mean no? Is it appropriate to ask a complete stranger if you can hold their son and then, when turned down, just keep asking, hoping the answer will change? And really, when you hold your arms out towards my stranger-anxiety-prone son, do you honestly think he's going to jump out of my arms and run away with you?

I'll answer my own rhetorical questions for you: no means no. It is not appropriate. You should not believe my son will leave you for me at this particular juncture.

I'm sorry Ms. Warming Hut Refugee -- but can you please respect my right as a parent to decide what is best for my son when he's under a year old?

Aie.

In other news, our food tasted great, and it was a beautiful day.

ElizabethMT's picture

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