Mothers of Preschoolers help navigate motherhood
| On a carnival ride, there are lots of ups and downs -- sometimes they happen so quickly you don't notice them until they're over. Bright lights and color come at you from all directions as you zoom through the air. If you're lucky, maybe you can grab the hand of the person nearest you -- either to beg reassurance or to physically say "hey! Did you just see that!?" Being the mother of a small child is often the same way -- it's fast-paced and crazy, and some days, you don't have much time to think before the next event. At the end of the day, it's a quick rest before the next wave. Merced MOPS, which is short for Mothers of Pre-Schoolers, attempts to harness this wild ride as they start their fall semester with the fitting carnival theme of "Adventures in Mothering." Their meetings, which take place on the first and third Thursdays of each month, from 9 to 11:30 a.m. at Yosemite Church, 2230 E. Yosemite Ave., offer speakers, food, discussion, help from older mentor mothers, crafts, and relaxation for otherwise busy mothers. They also offer child care through their MOPPETS program -- which offers a safe, structured curriculum for the little ones while their mothers spend some time bonding. "I've seen moms who, on their first day in the group, break down in tears just to be able to connect with other moms and to find someone else who understands where they are in their lives and someone who cares," said Lisa Clinton, the group's coordinator. "It's empowering to be with other people in the same boat," agreed Jenny Trost, the group's publicity director, and the communal aspect of the group is part of its strong draw -- and the passion of its members. Though the group is based in the ideals of Christianity, Trost stressed that a shared religion is not a requirement for membership. "It's not a preaching atmosphere," she said, explaining that religion influences group members mainly in their acceptance of all kinds of mothers who are in the same place in their lives. Now in its fifth year in Merced, the group was founded, according it its promotional material, to help women "to be the best mothers they can be." Group members care deeply about this cause, and the group has grown significantly in just the past few years. While Trost estimated that membership last year was between 40 and 50, she said this year they hope to expand even more. Though MOPS is exclusively for the mothers of pre-school-age children, the friendships don't stop when kindergarten starts. Often, those connections continue as the mothers and their children move on towards the next stages of their lives. The appeal of the group is obvious -- and goes beyond the superficial. According to Iris Hatcher, a founding member, whose children have now grown and left the program, one invaluable aspect of MOPS is the support of other women. "I have a handful of women who I know I could call at a moment's notice if I was ever in a rough spot," she said. When Hatcher's husband was sick a few years ago, she said that group members brought her family dinners, came to visit frequently, and kept her family in their thoughts and prayers. "Thank God everything turned out fine, and the love that was poured out on my family just made our friendship stronger," she said, "I take great joy in knowing that the relationships I have cultivated there will go on for years." Those relationships, incidentally, are not unique to MOPS in Merced. Atwater MOPS has been in existence for 26 years -- and in that time has seen enormous growth. Amberly Millikan, whose mother started the group, said that she has loved being a member -- even though she knew about it for two years before she joined. "I was worried about being told I was doing everything wrong," she said, "but it's not like that at all." According to Millikan, "one thing we offer is someone to walk right next to you; we don't walk ahead or behind -- we're right there helping to carry your burden." Millikan encourages moms who are hesitant to join the group, saying, "I've been there -- just give it a try -- bring the baby and get out there and be encouraged." Atwater MOPS also offers crafts and mentor mothers. Their smaller size gives the group a slightly different feel -- but this is to be expected in a city that has a smaller population than Merced's. Another difference between the two groups is that Atwater MOPS is free of charge. According to Millikan, this is because they receive support from the church where they hold their meetings -- the First Church of God, in Atwater. MOPS meetings in Merced take place during the day, but this doesn't mean that they exclude working mothers from their ranks. What was formerly known as MOPS@Nite, for working mothers, has since changed formats, providing what the group's website describes as Heart for Moms, "a small group for mothers of preschool age children looking to come together to study God's word, support one another, and enjoy fellowship." Just as at daytime MOPS meetings, childcare is provided. This group meets on the second and fourth Thursdays of the month, from 6 till 8 p.m., also at Yosemite Church. MOPS also reaches out to teen mothers, who meet the first and third Mondays of each month, from 5:30 till 7:30 p.m. at Gateway Community Church. In an appeal to youth culture, Teen MOPS maintains a MySpace page, declaring that "mothering matters at any age." It is clear from the testimony of its members that MOPS fills an essential role in their lives. As any mother knows, some time to relax and regroup is extremely important -- to paraphrase an old saying, "if mom's happy, then everyone is." More information about MOPS can be found at their International Web site, www.mops.org, or their Merced site, www.mercedmops.org. Those with questions can contact the Merced group at (209) 383-5038, or the Atwater group at (209) 358-5632. MOPS meets the first and third Thursdays of each month at Yosemite Church in Merced and the First Church of God in Atwater. |
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 Sun-Star photo by Lisa James Fifteen-month-old Phoenix Alexander tries pumpkin bowling while, his mother, Alina Alexander, at a recent MOPS sponsored Family Day. Alexander, who is expecting her fourth child, also enjoyed the chance to socialize and share tips with other mothers throughout the day. |